Naruto: Trapped In The Closet
by Uskius
Summary: If you're looking for an epic saga of raging hormones repressed by a military society, you came to the wrong place. This is just about some time Tenten and Naruto spend in a closet. Uncomfortable situations galore!


****Author's Note** **I just read Basemates, and it inspired me to do a Naruto fic about two characters trapped in a close space. And the last time I did a fic anywhere near that... lol. Don't worry. Set sometime during Shippuuden, this will be silliness and wackiness and just a time-passer. Enjoy?

**Naruto: Trapped In The Closet**

Tenten was never really that into pranks, but the timing seemed right. She and a few of the other young Chunin held a monthly meeting in secret, in Tsunade's office. The day and time were never the same, because the Hokage's schedule wasn't _that_ predictable, and it was considered a requirement for joining the little club to find out when the next meeting would be. So far, it consisted of Tenten, Sakura, Ino, and Choji Akimichi. Shizune was an unofficial member, as once she had walked in on the meet. Unexpectedly, Shizune was cool about it, and had even shown them Tsunade's secret s_ecret_ stash of sake. It was in the closet, which Shizune said contained other documents that necessitated having a sealing jutsu placed on the door. So, Shizune had met Tenten during training, telling her she'd left the sealing jutsu undone for their club meeting.

Now Tenten was on her way to the office, to wait inside the closet and surprise Sakura and the others. Nothing fancy, just jump out and yell "Boo!" _I wish I could pull off a Naruto level prank on them, but there's not enough time before it starts. Heh... I think that's the first I've ever wanted to do anything like Naruto..._ Shaking her head with a smile, Tenten quietly slipped into Tsunade's office. She began to hum quietly as she looked around the room for a moment and then almost like a flashing neon sign was pointing at it, her attention was drawn to the closet door... which was slightly ajar. With cat-like tread she crept over and peeked in to find-

-Naruto Uzumaki! "Aaahh!"

"Aaaahh!"

They were both silent for a moment, until Naruto laughed nervously and scratched the back of his neck. "Ah, hey there Tenten! Kinda surprised to see you here."

"Me too! I... I was actually going to try to surprise the girls today by hiding in here. But..."

"No, it's okay! I was gonna surprise them too!" Seeing the shocked look on her face, he continued, "I heard from Choji he had a meeting with some people today in the Hokage's office, so I thought this would be the perfect opporunity to get started pranking again. Konoha could use some humor."

Tenten smiled at the hope in Naruto's voice, but then the other shoe dropped. "Naruto, Shizune told me there was a sealing jutsu on the door that the Hokage herself designed. How did- how long have you been in the closet?"

"Oh, well I got here at five in the-" But there was a knock at the door, and without thinking Tenten dashed into the closet and Naruto closed it after her. Before they could turn around, there was a faint flash of light as the inside sealing jutsu activated. Tsunade had put it in place to slow down would be thieves, as she'd caught Jiraiya snooping around before and needed a way to get back at him for invading her privacy beyond the immediate and obvious way. The inside sealing jutsu now faded, Tenten and Naruto put their ears to the door to listen in. Just barely they could hear a single set of footsteps, and after a moment there was a very quiet phrase neither could hear well and the footsteps turned around and left, the office door closing. Tenten sighed, and turned the handle to open the door- but it wouldn't budge. She tried again, and it still wouldn't open. _What's going on here! Come on, OPEN!_ But Tenten's efforts were to no avail, as the sealing jutsu was a cleverly crafted one that dissipated any pressure applied to it. Tsunade had let herself have a night off during a busy week for designing it.

Another minute passed, and finally Tenten gave up. "...Naruto, is there a light in here...?"

"Light? Yeah, the chain's right- okay gimme a minute... aha!" With a click, the bulb overhead lit up. Taking a look around, Tenten saw that it was a fairly big closet as far as office closets went, big enough for her and Naruto to stand over an arm's length apart; and it was this deep, too. The silence settled in, and Tenten moved over to lean against one of the filing cabinets. A drawer behind Naruto's left elbow was open, and Tenten assumed that Tsunade's secret _secret_ sake stash was in there. Naruto looked from Tenten to the door, and gulped. "We're stuck in here, aren't we?

~oOo~

His fists sore, Naruto Uzumaki sagged to the floor not able to keep up his effort anymore. "I guess no one heard me... I thought I was yelling pretty loud..."

"No, you were definitely yelling loud enough Naruto..." Tenten winced and massaged her temples for a moment. "Maybe it's just no one's around. We planned this to be right after Tsunade left to make an announcement at the Ninja Academy, so it's likely that everyone's over there."

"But what about Choji and Ino and Sakura? Shouldn't they have come here by now?"

Tenten nodded. "The meeting was supposed to start around fifteen minutes after I got here..." She gazed at the floor, deep in thought. "Aaah, I think I have it now. The person that came in must have been Shizune, to tell me there was a change of plans and to head to the Ninja Academy for the announcement, or Tsunade was coming back to get some papers, or something. And since they're probably all over at the Academy... oh, it's going to be _hours_ before anyone knows we're in here!" _And I'm starting to get hungry and thirsty again... is it near lunch time already? Gah, I hope Naruto doesn't hear my stomach growl..._

To Tenten's horror, that is exactly what happened several minutes later. She looked away from Naruto for a bit, until his stomach growled also. He chuckled, and reached into his hip bag and drew out two "Double Chocolate Infinite Energy!" protein bars. "I brought these for while I was waiting. You can have one, if you want."

"Thanks," Tenten nodded. The protein bar was indeed very chocolatey, almost too much so for Tenten, but it was all that was available at the moment. It was a dry bar, but it seemed to get stickier the more Tenten chewed it, until finally it dissolved enough for her to swallow. It took almost three minutes for her to finish it. "Uh, not that I'm complaining, but Naruto how can you stand these things? I can barely open and close my mouth, they're so sticky."

"Wha- you don't like them? Man, I eat these all the time when I can't bring instant ramen on missions. They taste way better than food pills and give me almost as much energy-"

"You bring_ instant ramen _with you on missions?"

"Only the long ones, 'cause if it's just gonna be a few days I'll eat whatever Sakura or Sai find while they're foraging. No wild mushrooms for me, not for more than a week! No thanks!" Naruto said, with a dismissive wave of his hand. "Instead of a microwave, I just heat up my ramen over the campfire and they're good to go!"

"Well, however good you think they are I need something to wash it down." _Maybe some milk, or- or..._ At that point, Tenten remembered that there was indeed something to wash the chocolate taste out of her mouth. She stepped over to Naruto's side of the closet and knelt down to look in the open drawer. Sure enough, there were numerous bottles of sake and other alcoholic beverages in it. "...Naruto, you want a drink?"

"Huh? So Granny Tsunade keeps drinks in a closet filing cabinet?"

"No," Tenten lied, "Shizune got some and left them here for me and the girls."

"That's nice of her," Said Naruto as he was handed a bottle labeled "XX".

"Yeah, but she doesn't know you know about the club yet, so don't mention it to her."

"So this club is a secret one, then?"

"Yes," Tenten blurted out. "I mean, it's invitation only, so you- well-" Tenten stopped before even Naruto could see through the web of lies, and raised the bottle of sake to her lips.

~oOo~

"Tenten, are your hands turning purple and orange too?" Giggled Naruto.

"I tthth- I tink tat might be enuffer you, Naruto." He nodded, and let Tenten take the bottle from him. The two of them had gone through a handful of the bottles, boredom and curiosity driving them on. She fumbled with putting the caps back on the bottles, but gave up after a moment and tossed the caps back into the drawer. Naruto helped put the bottles back, somehow with laser-like precision and focus- until the last bottle was in, anyways. Tenten shut the drawer, and sat back against the filing cabinets next to Naruto.

"Howong do you think ith been?" Naruto asked.

"I dunno, uffew hours I guess."

"Thould we try banging and yelling? Maybe thomeone will hear us now."

"Meh, go ahed." So Naruto stood, and cocked his fist back for a swing- but when he threw it forwards it hit his own jaw, and spun him around so he sat back against the door.

"No good with the banging... ow." Naruto watched for a moment as his hand turned a brilliant fuschia. "I don't think I thould drink like thith again. I can't feel my toeth." Promptly, Naruto dozed off and began snoring loudly. Tenten decided to take a quick nap too, and closed her eyes.

~oOo~

_Did Naruto kick me, or-_ Tenten blinked, and saw Naruto was still sitting up, snoring. _I guess this is what hangovers are like... My braaaaaaaaiiiiin..._ while she was staring at Naruto, he mumbled in his sleep, some incomprehensible gibberish- though she did pick up "Sakura", or maybe it was "chakra ball"; who knew. But with a sudden loud snore, Naruto jerked awake.

"Heh, gueth I was athleep there." He rubbed his eyes as he asked, "It hasn't been too long, hath it?"

"Well, I don't feel too sore, so I guess it hasn't..." An awkward silence came down, and only grew more awkward as each realized the need plain on the other's face and in their body language. Naruto wanted to speak first, but didn't know how to go about it, not wanting to offend Tenten.

_On a mission it'd be different, I'd just do it without asking; but with her here in the closet..._ "Uh, Tenten, I kinda have to pee..."

Looking away, Tenten nodded. "I, uh... Idotoo..." She whispered. _This is actually happening... aaaaaggh._ "Naruto... let's not tell anyone about whatever happens in here, okay?"

"Deal." The blonde reached over, and the two shook hands on it. "Do you think we could just use the filing cabinets-"

"Naruto!"

"What, it's- oh... yeah, it _is_ Granny Tsunade's closet... eheh. Nevermind." _But that just leaves the floor... oh MAN! This is bad!_ The uneasy silence became unbearable, until suddenly Tenten stood up.

"That's it! YES!"

"What is it?"

"You know how there's that generic sealing technique to store away kunai and shuriken and other things in scrolls? Well..." She saw comprehension dawn on Naruto's face, and he began to grin.

"Umm..." Tenten felt her face heating up. "I'll go first. Turn around, please..." Naruto quickly did so, and Tenten pulled out an unused scroll from her hip bag, and unrolled it on the floor...

~oOo~

"-well, let's just hope she never needs the file on that Renji Fudo guy, whoever he is..."

"It's not like I had anything else to use!"

"I know! Just- let's move on from _that_, okay?" Tenten put the scroll in her kunai holster, and sighed. Unfortunately, her thoughts were still on it and its contents, and one the most embarrassing moments of her life. _At least this is all sealed away... speaking of sealed away-_ "Hey Naruto, you never did explain how you got in here in the first place."

"Oh! Well, the seal- I'll just say it's similar to one I'm familiar with, so undoing it wasn't that hard."

"Really? As far as I know this seal on the outside is pretty unique, so how do you know a seal like it...?"

"...I guess you've heard how I'm a jinchuriki, right? Well, since I guess Granny Tsunade wanted the best sealing jutsu, she made one based on old Uzumaki clan diagrams. And since Mom taught Dad plenty of those, and I got stuck with one, it wasn't long before I noticed a few things. Instead of two Four Symbols Seals, it's just one big ol'..."

Tenten could barely believe what she was hearing. She'd known Konoha had a jinchuriki, but not that it was _Naruto_. She'd just ignored it when others blamed their misfortunes on Naruto, thinking it because he was simply an obnoxious brat. With that puzzle piece in place, a number of other things suddenly started making sense... and then there was another shock as her mind raced to another conclusion: ..._his mother was an Uzumaki, and the, the... so Naruto is...!_

"-so from there it was easy to figure out the key." Naruto noted the stunned expression on Tenten's face, and wondered why she was so surprised. _Maybe she wasn't expecting that from a goofy guy like me. But I _am_ the number one candidate for Hokage!_

"...Naruto? If- _when_ we get out, could you show me how to do a seal like the one on the door?"

"B'whuh? Well, uh- umm... I- I _guess_ I could. I didn't know you were interested in sealing jutsu, Tenten."

"Really, it's just... I'm surprised. Really surprised."

"Yeah, I guess you wouldn't expect this from me... but a future Hokage needs skills in all areas of ninjutsu!"

Tenten looked at Naruto, wondering how many times that smile he'd been wearing had been faked, after how he was treated at the hands of the villagers. She felt herself smiling too, and almost felt like giving Naruto a hug.

~oOo~

After about thirty-two minutes the word association games had gotten boring, and Rock Paper Scissors hadn't lasted even half as long. For a while they looked through the files, but so many names and sentences were blacked out they eventually gave up on that too. So the two sat side by side and simply got to know each other; Naruto talking about his training travels with Jiraiya, and Tenten talking about all the things that happened in Konoha while he was gone.

"Wow, so Lee and Neji weren't even touched until the finals? I didn't know Bushy Brows and Neji were _that_ good!"

"And their fight was amazing, probably the best there's been in a while. Of course, Gai-sensei was crying waterfalls of "youthful joy" the whole time..."

"So who won?"

"Ibiki-sensei stopped the fight, and there wasn't a clear winner... Neji basically looked like a giant bruise, but he was still standing and by then he'd hit Lee with that Eight Trigrams Sixty-Four Palms technique, so Lee couldn't open his chakra gates... it was really close after that. Neji was actually a lot faster than I'd thought he would be from all our training; and he's passed the Jonin test just a few months ago. He's gotten a lot better since you left with Jiraiya-sama."

"Yeah... I know Neji and Hinata have a lot of pressure on them from their family... heh, losing to me probably just made him extra determined!" Naruto and Tenten chuckled for a moment, and then Naruto yawned. "Yikes! When did I get this tired?"

"I dunno," Tenten said, fighting back a yawn of her own. "But we've been here for hours and hours. It's probably around midnight." Another awkward moment came up as Naruto and Tenten looked at each other, knowing the room was too small for the both of them to stretch out fully.

Naruto coughed and looked away. "I'll just take this corner over here, and you can sleep diagonally across the room-"

_I can't believe I'm saying this-_ "Naruto, we've peed with each other in the same room, we are officially not allowed to be embarrassed around each other any more; although I do appreciate the gesture. And besides, it's getting cold and I'm not going to sleep on the cement."

"Uh, well... um." But despite blushing, Naruto didn't move away, and he offered his black and orange jacket to Tenten. She whispered thanks and slipped it over her shoulders, and it instantly had a mysterious calming effect on her, making her drowsy. She scooted closer to Naruto and wrapped her arms around him, and rested her head on his shoulder. To her surprise, Naruto was asleep first, and began to snore slightly. But Tenten herself was asleep too soon afterwards for that to be too much of a problem.

~oOo~

Naruto awoke tangled around someone, absentmindedly noting he had them in a perfect abdominal stretch submission hold. _Huh? Tenten, what the-_ With a start he jerked away, only for the back of his head to slam against a filing cabinet. "AAAGGH!" Now they both were awake, trying get untangled from each other but only succeeding in dealing bruises and getting even more twisted up.

"H-hold on! Let's stop moving!" _Umm... _"Naruto, is that your hip pack? I can't tell from this angle..."

"Hip pack? I took that off when I-" _Wait, nononono! OH MY- "AAARGH!"_ The closetmates separated with a wrenching sound that was most likely Naruto's shoulder getting dislocated. Naruto began to quietly weep waterfalls, clutching his shoulder. Tenten dusted herself off, and began feeling around for the light chain.

_There-_ The bulb flickered on, definitely still too bright. _Ugh, I agree with Naruto about never drinking like that again..._ "Naruto? What happened to your-"

"YOU'RE A HORRIBLE PERSON!"

"I'm- HOW am I horrible, it was YOUR _stupid_ JACKET that kept us tangled up!" But Naruto refused to elaborate on Tenten's faults, and silently sulked against the cold metal of the cabinets. Tenten sighed, and squinted away the "glare" of the lightbulb. "I didn't have a first aid kit on me when I came here, so if you want to fix that we'll have to do it the old-fashioned way."

"...Fine." Naruto turned towards Tenten, and she took hold of his arm and shoulder.

"On three. Ready? One, two-" With a surprisingly pleasant sound, Naruto's shoulder popped back into place. He'd been expecting Tenten to push on two, so he only gave a small grunt of pain. "Better?"

"Yeah, thanks." Right on time, exactly three seconds later Naruto's stomach growled. "...I think I have one more Double Chocolate bar left. Split it?" Tenten nodded, and Naruto got up and retrieved the last protein bar.

~oOo~

Shizune leaned away from the door, and wrote down the brief exchange on the notepad. "Lady Tsunade... don't you think we should let them out sometime?"

"Are you kidding me, I haven't had an opporunity like this in years. Besides, it's payback for all those pranks Naruto's pulled."

"None of them were serious enough to warrant something like this!"

"Chunin exams."

"...Well, everyone knows he's still officially a genin, so-"

"_Chunin. Exams._"

"The stink bombs were Konohamaru's idea!" But Shizune could see that her Hokage wouldn't concede this point, and dropped the issue.

"Now get your ear back to that door." Tsunade gave a small smirk as she turned back to her papers. "However they've been taking care of their number ones and twos is blackmail material I can't afford to miss."

~oOo~

"-so those are the hand seals you need for the 'key' jutsu, which normally you'd have on a second scroll. Got it?"

"Well, I have it written down. I think it's a little too complex for me to master while we're in here though. Or maybe not; how long has it been?"

"It feels like at least a day. I'm pretty sure I've heard people coming in and out of Granny Tsunade's office."

"Me too, and apparently they can't HEAR US OUT THERE." Tenten slumped down against the file cabinet, and sighed. Naruto walking her through his seal and the seal on the door's outside was a nice diversion, but ultimately they were still trapped in the closet with no apparent way out. Naruto's hardest hits had no effect on the door, Tenten's sharpest weapons couldn't even scratch it; yet it still just felt like a plain old piece of hand-carved wood.

Last night they'd exhausted Naruto's mental cache of trivia games, all of which he'd lost; had Tic Tac Toe battles on an epic thirty-two by thirty-two square grid, which proved to be headache inducing; and eventually just ended up lazily slapping each other to pass the time. Once more they slept sitting together against the cabinets, and again woke up in a tangled mess. This time the separation went smoothly, and Tenten had a brief moment where she wished to just keep sleeping with Naruto instead of another day in the closet. It made her gag, once she realized; but she got over it quickly, and decided that Naruto was really a better person than that. Perhaps they might even be friends after they escaped.

Lunch time found them working on the sealing jutsu again, going over the variations between Naruto's seal and the one on the door's outside, playing "Pin the trigram on the seal". It was every bit as fun as it sounded, but Tenten honestly felt it was helping her sealing jutsu knowledge.

"That's the last one! You can lift up your forehead protector now."

"I did- no, I got another pair mixed up again!"

"And your placement's a bit off, too. But then again I have been making you do this blindfolded, so I guess you're doing great!" Tenten gave a tired smile, then looked to the seals and swapped the scraps of paper, then doing her best to memorize the correct positions of the sealing jutsu's trigrams. Then she just sat down on the concrete, having never felt so utterly, thoroughly bored in her entire life. Naruto was looking at her expectantly, almost like she'd suddenly perform the sealing jutsu perfectly, blindfolded and while doing the hand seals with her feet. Inexplicably, an impulse entered Tenten, a desperate act to break up the boredom- she crawled over and began making out with Naruto Uzumaki as if her life depended on it...

~oOo~

Sakura heard something like "None of that ever happened.", and it was all she could do to keep the empty glass from slipping from her shocked and motionless hand. She looked across to Shizune and Neji, who wore similar expressions of surprise on their faces. She fearfully glanced towards Lee- she didn't have the heart to tell him what was going on, but Tsunade had insisted on him being there so there he was, playing Go with Sai as he waited for the news.

Sai noticed the attention, and looked over towards the closet. "Has he shown her his penis yet?" Tsunade laughed while everyone else face faulted, and Shizune was the first to recover.

"N-n- no, Sai. Nothing's happened besides them working on sealing jutsu. Apparently she's quite adept at the art."

Sakura snapped back to reality. "Yeah! And Naruto is too. Who would have guessed, Naruto a secret sealing jutsu master." She directed this to Neji, intending for him to pick up.

"Indeed. I've been brushing up on them after my try at the Jonin test, and there's a certain finesse they require that can be difficult to develope. But then again, Naruto _did_ study under one of the Three Sages for two and a half years."

_Neji, you are a champ._ "Exactly, and there's no telling what else Naruto learned from Jiraiya." Sakura added. But after a devilish grin from Tsunade was sent her way, Sakura knew that vague compliment came out at precisely the wrong time. The others- even Lee- caught on, and Sakura almost passed out from the awkward.

"Lady Tsunade, may I ask who is inside the closet with Naruto?" Lee questioned hesitantly. Neji hung his head and sighed, knowing how much he and Tenten meant to Lee.

But unexpectedly, Tsunade didn't pull the trigger. "I suppose you'll just have to see when they come out." With a few flicks of her wrist Tsunade finished what she was writing, then blew on it to speed the drying, and expertly folded it up into an envelope. She walked over and slid it under the door.

"I just slipped them the guidelines for undoing the sealing jutsu on their side of the door, which even if they are as talented as Sakura and Neji say, will take them a good while to finish. In the meantime, I feel generous. Would anyone like to join me for a light meal at RAMEN ICHIRAKU?" There was a murmur of agreement, and then Tsunade led them out of her office towards the noodle establishment.

~oOo~

The first thing Naruto did after calming down was make two copies of the sealing jutsu as outlined by Tsunade's note, and made a copy of the note for Tenten. This was a jutsu that neither would be wanting to forget any time soon.

Short a quill and ink well, Naruto unflinchingly took one of Tenten's kunai and made a cut on his arm, and began to draw the counter-jutsu on the door with his own blood. There was a determination and faint red glow in his eyes that frightened Tenten, so she backed away a step and let Naruto do the work. He held the half-Ram seal for a while, focusing his chakra into the jutsu in grim silence. Then Tenten blinked and with a sound like birds flapping there was a flash, and the door was open! _That- that was twenty-two hand seals! That fast!_ So shocked was Tenten that she hadn't noticed Naruto walk out of the closet.

"Are you coming, Tenten?"

"Oh- of course. Sorry, Naruto." The Chunin shook her head, and walked out of the closet for the first time in over two days, so hungry her knees felt a little weak. She felt like celebrating, but all she could manage was a limp hug.

"Hey Tenten..."

"Hmm?"

"Would you mind if I kept the... bathroom scroll?"

"You can have it, I was going to throw it away." Tenten pulled it out from her kunai holster, and handed it to Naruto.

"Awesome!" Naruto patted his new friend on the shoulder. "Now how about we celebrate with some Ramen Ichiraku?"

"Honestly at this point I would eat my sandals, but ramen sounds delicious."

"Alright, then let's go!" The pair walked out of Tsunade's office, side by side, and Naruto had an ear-to-ear grin on his face.

**THE END**

****Author's Note****

Don't worry, I'm not gonna go R Kelly on you guys. This is a one-shot.


End file.
